Stuck

I’m still here. And still feel stuck. Still feeling pulled away from the keyboard. Still distracted by hummingbirds, crows, dogs, gardens, books to read, sunshine to enjoy.

I have typically been one to ‘push the river’. First sign of Spring and I’m planting beds and filling flower pots to add color to the deck for a few short weeks of use. Our weather patterns are so diabolically unpredictable right now. We never really had Winter in the sense of snow but we certainly had plenty of cold. We’re still having cold. Still having days that the nighttime low is below freezing and the daytime high is in the 50’s.

A few weeks ago, in March, we had gloriously warm days. Days that a sucker like me can be fooled into thinking it’s safe. Safe to plant seeds in rich soil and keep them moist. Safe to celebrate when the tiny little leaves push through the soil and begin to grow.

Miraculously, a beautiful bed of Arugula beat all the odds and two snow storms when they were about two inches tall to continue to flourish. Maybe it’s because they are planted in an old cast iron claw footed bath tub over a bed of gravel and the warmth absorbed during the day by the iron and the stones stayed in the dirt just enough to keep them alive.

Have you ever had the culinary pleasure of ‘thinning’ a bed of Arugula and turning the little sprouts into an early Spring salad? It’s heavenly.

Arugula and Spring Mix Greens

But I digress. (I’m not sure from what, because I’m not really sure where this is even going. It just feels like a digression).

The warm weather in March would have been when the snows began to melt and the rivers began to swell. But there was no (very little) snow to be melted and we never noticed any kind of rise in the water levels. Trees have died because we are not used to needing to hook up hoses and water them in the Winter months. We lost one very beloved little Pine that volunteered to grow on a berm. One we had been loving along for 5 years. She was about 2’ tall. She’s still 2’ high but dead dead dead. I haven’t had the heart to pull it up. Because I believe in miracles.

I walk by my ‘potting benches’ almost daily. They sit in disuse and disarray awaiting my attention. And I have to force myself not to get too eager with planting pots that I cannot easily bring in each evening and put back out again each morning.

But I did notice on one pass-by, a tiny flash of color and found this little beauty hidden in the dried remains of one of last year’s deck pots.

(One of the many reasons I believe in miracles)

Two weeks ago I was out walking in the yard and a hummingbird flew alongside my head for the briefest of moments. I always wait, in the Fall, until I haven’t seen or heard one for at least a week before pulling in the feeders and cleaning them for the final time to put them away in the shed. So when this little guy flew up to my ear to let me know he was back I knew we had to get the feeders out. The fruit trees had all bloomed early due to the warm March weather. That may have been what drew the Hummers back. I worried about them at night because it was still so cold but they are here now in full force and busy draining the feeders.

A hospice patient once said to me something about why she believed in God. And it’s a quote that I think belongs to someone but I can’t say who and I can’t remember exactly how it goes. So I’ll risk slaughtering it and say it has to do with believing in what you cannot see, because of all the things you can see.

I think I like that. I think the things I can see and do see are enough for me to know there is something so spectacularly good at work in our lives, something I cannot see, but don’t need to see in oder to believe. It gets me through.

Thanks for reading this ramble from the brambles of my yard. I’m right where I need to be and soon to be unstuck. I’ll post an update when I have one. Until then, blessings on us all as we put one foot in front of the other….